destinee_carols

And sometimes curiosity kills the cat and sometimes curiosity doesn't kill but pains and cripples.

So it is necessary to question why one would do this to oneself, why one would do this to one's friend -

Fuck, and then there is one's nonexistent faith.

Because I would have to push, and this is hardly, hardly, hardly different from the one question that I have said I will not ask.

Please let him come back - yet if he comes back, let it be because of his strength and not blindness to the pain I can cause him.

The happiness of others is not my responsibility unless it is by my wrongdoing that they are hurt.

This is my fault, so mine does not count.

Two hearts I hold.

I'm sorry.

First part of a story, still untitled.

I notice that I've recently been writing in a present-tense, limited omniscient third-person POV instead of past tense.  I'm not sure if that's good?  It seems to fit the sorts of things I'm writing.

( Part one... )

I am severely pissed off that a little ficlet I spent maybe an hour writing disappeared when I hit "Post to destinee_carols".

OMFG.

A little precursor to Hell's Angel that I had started a while ago and never really followed through with. It's kinda Christmas-themed, so appropriate for the weather.

I feel like I need to rewrite Aidyn all over again.

Also, Raelyn annoys me.

( Read more... )

Feels like my writing style wavers so much even between the beginning and the end of such a short piece.

OMG. EDIT BEFORE POSTING. >___<

My muse DOES love me! *sobs* I always knew it.

That said, my Halloween fic has been stagnant for a little while.

Cross-posted to Fictionpress:



I hoard both dimes and nail polish.

I will be, cliche as it is, a vampire.  Bought fangs which really are too cool...  I would have perhaps been a vampire kitty, but.  Hm, I could still.  To be honest I'm just looking for an excuse to dress sexy/slutty for my boyfriend...not denying it.  Wouldn't do so for anyone else.  o^__^o

Hm, sounds like my psych midterm tomorrow.  First off, do not the first two questions mean the same thing?  Secondly, I think people can be born with an inclination towards something, but environmental factors also affect a person a lot.  Therefore - nature WITH nurture, not nature VERSUS nurture.

Kio from Loveless.  I still squee when I see Edward Elric, but slash fanfic has kinda ruined him for me.  Plus, he's not very likely to angst for me.  As for Train Heartnet from Black Cat, well - I dunno.  Against, angsting for me?  Not likely.

Not that Kio would, much, I think.  But Soubi is wholly devoted to Ritsuka, and if not, then Seimei has him.  Plus Soubi's moods are too much for me.  Ritsuka - he's sweet, but he's a kid.  Therefore Kio - who has been there for Soubi, or wanted to, at least...  He intrigues me.  I want to know how much he knows.  Plus, what Seimei and Nisei did to him so far - poor Kio.

And I wanna ask him about his earrings, and see his tattoo.  :D

(So what if Soubi is ridiculously pretty?  Kio's not bad-looking.)

That is about the extent of my fandoms.  :S  Kinda sad.

Sneaky little bastard, my muse is.  I'd kill it - but I've been waiting for it for so long that to kill it really seems a shame.

He seems to appear now and bombard me with at least one really good idea - when it's midterm time.

*twitch*

First-line meme by grimm_psyke ...

It's 2 in the morning, I'm supposed to be doing an English paper, and I finally finished this.  ...Don't judge me.  >_>

...Oh hey, 2400 words exact.

( Read more... )

I liked him because he loves me.

I'm not...he can't...

I envy him his faith.

I know he can't love me as God loves me, for to be human is to err, but.

Oh FUCK.

This is why I really shouldn't keep a fairly personal journal open when I'm not sure who's reading it other than the two people who comment oh shitshitshit.

Please to have not let my boyfriend read - oh shit.  Right.  Crush on Tim, crush on Colin, not really feeling it for him....

I have to be the biggest idiot in the world...in my world, at least.  ARGH.  Life is a bitch.  >_>

Is this the first meme I've actively done?  No.  Can't be.  I'm still working on that drabble-turned-short story.  And I know I wrote a drabble for a meme!  Anyways.

"If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often or ever) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your LJ and see what your friends come up with.

Stolen from grimm_psyke who stole it from charisstoma who stole it from dandygrrrl who stole it from xceciliastarr"

Etcetera, etcetera.

Completely totally random out-of-the-blue.  My muses live.  Though I hear they're called plot bunnies, or as grimm_psyke calls them, "plunnies", here on LJ.  :3

( Read more... )

Enjoy now.  And you think you've got problems?  Trust me, honey, you ain't seen NOTHING yet.

Tsaiko posted a meme...yay prompts, I actually wrote a ficlet.  :D

Read here...

Because posting things on the internet just makes it that much better.  Or - helps that much more, or what the hell ever.

I've been bitchy as hell for the past two days.  I don't know why.  I chalk it up to my over-reacting about the fact that I don't get to see my boyfriend.  That my friend is at the party and whatnot and she gets to be there and I don't.  That somehow she gets to see her boyfriend - and mine! - more than I get to see mine.  FML.

I tried to sleep last night and got like four or five hours of really fitful sleep.

I took the capsule of dxm hbr but it's a dud or it's something like less than 200 mg because I am barely getting anything and that's even with a few more milligrams of the extraction Luke gave me.  I'm now stuck at a state where I'm getting nothing good out of this.  I'm not even utterly numb; I'm still pissed off, just not enough to do anything, as if there was anything I could do.

What the hell.

I hate this all so much.

He is away on a camping trip.  Somewhat vindictively to make myself feel better I hope it was a miserable trip and I hope he missed me.

And I hope they're okay, what with the thunderstorm.

I want him home so he can text me.

Scrap that, I want to see him and spend time with him and I can't.

I'm such a fucking pussy.

I am just kinda way pissed off as hell.  I want to go to that party.  I want to be hanging out with my boyfriend, even if I am drop-dead-tired.  I want to be able to see him more, I want to be able to hang out with my friends more and I hate that I'm not allowed, I want to be there playing SSBB with him and the guys and kicking ass or getting my ass kicked.

I JUST WANT TO BE THERE.  Is it so much to ask to spend time with my friends?

Yes, yes it is, because they're the sketchy kids and I'm a Christian or that's what my parents think and OH MY FUCKING WORD.